Drip Drip Dripping

Today I sat in my car and admired how beautiful the sunset was. I constantly find myself amazed by the sky. And also by how easy it is to overlook.  As I watched the clouds roll by, a drop of water hit my windshield.  And then three more. And then suddenly I couldn't see out of my windshield because of the waterfall pouring out of the sky.  I watched as everyone in the parking lot scampered to find cover, shielding their heads with whatever they could find.

I couldn't help but laugh at the silliness of it all. Moments ago the sky was a glorious sight, radiant with color.  Yet no one stopped to look at it.  Everyone was so caught in their own lives and the ground directly in front of them, completely unaware of the beauty right above them.  And now they're caught in the wrath of a rainstorm.

The sky is a never-ending reality check.  Our world is tiny. We are minuscule.  Our problems are microscopic.

Some days I feel as if stress is trying to swallow me whole.  But then I take a moment to look at the sky and bask in the vastness of it all.  And I have never felt more comforted than to know that I am just a speck in one beautiful universe.

I AM INVINCIBLE

Happiness is an explosion of pink and yellow zigzags.

Happiness is smiling without needing a reason.

Happiness is laying next to someone and enjoying the comfortable silences.

Happiness is creating art.

Happiness is receiving a compliment from a stranger. Or giving one.

Happiness is laying outside and watching the bugs in the grass. They are tiny but they are living just like you.  Their worlds are just as important as yours.

Happiness is learning something new.

Happiness is a warm puppy in your lap.

Happiness is enjoying every moment, not just looking forward to the weekends.

Happiness is reuniting with an old friend.

Happiness is putting on pajamas after an exhausting day.  Exhaustion is good.  Exhaustion means you accomplished something.

Happiness is making someone smile.

Happiness is a pile of blankets, a bowl of popcorn, and a movie.

Happiness is making a friend in an unexpected place.

Happiness is watching the birds fly through the sky.  They are uninhibited.  They fly through life and stop to sing.

Happiness is knowing that even when you're feeling down, it isn't going to last forever.

Happiness is knowing what you want with your future, and going out to get it.

Happiness is what I'm feeling right now.

Happiness is me.  I am happy.

All I See Is Rainbows

I feel as if until now life has been running past me in a rush of color.

But now I am finally catching up and all I see is rainbows.

There was a point in my life when I didn't do anything for myself.  I am just figuring out that life doesn't wait for you, but has only beauty to offer if you keep in time.  Now that my feet are moving at a steady pace, the beauty in my life is never ending.  Every day is a promise for new opportunities and magical moments.

I am only eighteen.  Such a minuscule number. There are so many hopeful years ahead of me and they are singing of beautiful colors.

Life never ceases to amaze me.

I Won't Slow Down

I opened my 2013 happy jar today.

                                                you could say I had a lot to be happy for.

I have so much joy in my life I legitimately can’t contain it – sometimes I catch myself smiling when I’m alone in the car, or when I’m taking a walk in the neighborhood.  I find myself singing along louder to my favorite songs and less afraid to try new things than ever before. I truly cannot remember the last time I was sad. I climbed out of the hole I dug for myself in 2012 and changed my life for the better.  There is now so much light in my life and all I want to do is share it with others.  I want to yell from the mountain tops that IT GETS BETTER.  If you feel like you are stuck with nowhere to go I PROMISE THERE IS AN EXIT.  Once you find it, you will know the wait was worth it.   I have been at the lowest of the lows, and I am never going back.

From a customer on their receipt

Some things made it into the jar multiple times - I guess that symbolizes how much those things meant to me during the year.

In 2013 I chose to be happy. And now I refuse to be anything but that.  Life is too short to spend any moment miserable. I am going to spend 2014 chasing my dreams and doing everything I can to make my life something I'm proud of. That's not just a New Year's resolution - that's a Life's resolution. 2013 was just a preview for how fantastic my life is going to be, and I will never stop chasing it. 

Hello, World

It has been way too long since I last kept a blog. I really do miss the blogger world.  Owning a blog is like owning my own teeny corner of the universe, a place where anybody can experience the constant frenzy that is my mind.  For now, this blog is like a white canvas. In my mind it's smooth and glossy - kind of like the way a hard boiled egg looks once you peel off the outer layer.  By filling it with words and pictures, late night rambles and sleepy mumbles, this blank canvas will be a portrait.  A portrait of what I cannot say in person.  A portrait that answers the question, "What are you like?" when I get nervous and forget everything I've ever cared about. (Who am I anyway? Who ever knows how to answer that question?)

There is something comforting about spilling emotions onto a page. I have kept diaries since as far back as I can remember. My mom gave me my first diary when I was in kindergarten.  It was a dark, rosy pink with flowers scribbled across the front and it came with a lock and key.  The only times I wrote in it were when I was mad at my parents.  I still have it to this day, and laugh at the five-inch tall letters stating, "I HATE MOMY SHES MEEN AND SAYS FROGGS ARNT ALOWD INSIDE."

..By now I've improved my writing skills by a few strides, and can rip through the pages of a diary like it's my full time job.  At least the stationary business is gaining a steady income from my pocket.  Diaries are like a friend who can't talk back, but are always willing to listen.  They know every one of your quirks, your least favorite foods, and all of the secrets that you couldn't stand to keep inside your head any longer. 

I name all of my diaries - there's something wrong about pouring your heart and soul out to someone and then never giving them a chance to have their own identity.

Rewind.

This is about a blog, not diaries.

Obviously my time to re-enter the blog world is long past due.  I have way too much to say.

I cannot wait to paint this canvas. My fingertips are buzzing with ideas.  My favorite feeling is the anticipation before something wonderful happens.  It's like a hum way down deep inside, and you keep suppressing it.  You tell the hum to go away but it keeps going and going and going until the something wonderful happens and you don't feel anything except happiness.  I think this blog is something wonderful.  A huge something.  I can feel the hum beginning.  I cannot wait to see how this universe expands.